wilhelm scream @maenad@cthonic.club

Profile picture by @sherm , gifted by @signalstation

Many of my posts are unsolicited advice.

Know that most of those posts are advice that I'm actively working on taking right that second.

If i don't follow back, it's probably because you haven't interacted enough with me or my friends and/ or don't have enough public posts.

I'm down to make new friends but I'm trying to exercise reasonable judgement.

I'm a:
Computational scientist (PhD in Biology via Applied Math), doing the academia thing until I rage quit.

baker/dog owner/wannabe goth/poppunk nostalgist/(s)witch/comic nerd/crafter

Wantonly bisexual, terrible at romance, worse at monogamy, permanently angry at gender norms.

I like:
WoW/OW

brazilian jiu jitsu/muay thai/dance/lifting

today I freaked someone out by referring to cows in a milk line as people

...

and I'm glad they can't ever see my browser history

okay leaving before I'm horny on main

trying to explain the perpetual high-desert-induced bloody nose to people is hard

"yeah my nose is probably always bleeding at home ... no I don't mean like gushing... I actually almost never need a tissue .... yeah it's just that like.... if I sneeze or something I realize my nose is filled with scabs... it's actually totally normal, welcome to the high desert... no it's NOT A PROBLEM WHAT"

I should probably stop being wilhelm scream

but honestly life hasn't stopped feeling like screaming

Maybe I am not perpetual scream

I do not know how to CW that

sorry

none of this is my job anymore I am no longer angry

New experiences being here today:
*asking a new dynamics student what they set R0 to to hear "what's R0?" (WHO IS TEACHING THESE KIDS THEY NEED ME GOD FUCKING DAMMIT)
*guy who controls multiple millions of dollars going out of his way to talk to me for 10 minutes (FUCK YOU PAY ME (he's a sweetheart and I love him BUT PAY ME I mean))

bet author order on a coin flip

after first you're just part of "et al." anyway

me: "I confirmed I'm super allergic to beer"
ex-boss: "but not gluten?"
me: "yeah, not gluten"
ex-boss: "maybe it's the hops - can you smoke weed?"
me: "........."

WEED IS ILLEGAL HERE FOR THE RECORD

and non-medical where I live, too

I think it's important to point out that any bitterness I feel these days is actually pretty residual/some of it's just coming out now that I'm in a better place

I'm dating (well, I've been on a few dates with other people and plan to go on more)

I'm in a sexually satisfying exchange thing

I have some additional flirtations

things are getting better and will continue to do so for at least a little while

talked to an old friend

he had a breakup recently

talking about trying to get back out there

"oh yeah at 41 I'm not just an old man I'm a dirty old man - it's not just that the girls I see out are kids, but that they're young enough to be MY kids"

yep

this town gets corrosive that way

glad I left

there were times since I got Kris where my heat got turned off in the winter because bills are hard when rent and your paycheck are within $200 of each other

yes, Kris was cold, but it felt better to be curled up under a blanket WITH SOMEONE than it did to be alone

if he hadn't been there I might've died

everyone deserves a pet, if they'll love it and try to do what's right by it

you can't look at the number of animal shelters killing dogs and cats by the dozen and say "houseless people don't deserve pets" or "if you can't eat regularly you can't have a pet"

let them have love I will light you on fire

aaaaargh I made a mistake in hate-redditting today I am suddenly so mad

the only men I've found sexually appealing online recently are bisexual

this is probably not a coincidence

every man I've ever been in a relationship with has wanted ME to be mono because anything else would be too big a blow to their ego

and they've (okay, only one of them, and I broke up with him 8 years ago) wanted blanket permission to cheat because their ego "needs" to sleep with hot girls

anyway, male ego is bad and is toxic in relationships, thx

(also relationships shouldn't be about ego thx x2)