I'm tired. I'm stressed.
I'm full time teaching faculty, and tutoring my butt off, and trying to bring some papers to publication because they were backburnered (editors 2 years ago: "yeah but who cares about viral invasion into the US?"), trying to publish my kickstarter
it's like 4 full time jobs and all I wanna do is sit on the front step and drink with my neighbor and watch my strawberry plants grow
time enough for everything, I guess.
I feel like the only person I'm not letting down is me, and that's important
I wish I could stop feeling like I was letting everyone else down, but ehhh.... maybe that'll happen later?
I've commissioned some rad art (and received it). I talk almost daily to someone I like and who has no expectations of me besides "wrangling the dog(s)". Although she'd maybe like it if I returned the plate she brought me cookies on.
(dude I was sleeping with but am now reevaluating things with when I realized he responds HELLA BAD to boundaries said I stopped wanting him when I met people cooler than him
I think I just stopped wanting him when I started getting more from my neighbor than I do from him.
Not that we're fucking, or even want to be fucking, just that it feels GOOD to be "sit around and bitch on the daily" mode with someone. even if usually we bitch about dogs and the weather.
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