a tired nerd @maenad@cthonic.club

Guess I'm gonna be up until 5

Why am I like this

... I enjoy superhero movies for the spectacle, but increasingly I don't really root for/sympathize with anyone

Proxima midnight: has a job she likes and excels at, likes her co-workers
Gamora: still struggling with childhood trauma, travels the universe with a bunch of assholes who don't respect her

... I find one of these things more aspirational

the best thing about an undergrad who has consistently refused to put the work in submitting the manuscript is now you have an external figure telling him it's not good enough

science isn't easy, sucker

...

sorry, your mentors are probably less bitter than me

sometimes I think about that package I had delivered right when I moved in, that was signed for by "warlock" and didn't actually show up at my door

and how it turned out that was the manager lady's real last name

and how she became one of my best friends

and how I miss her :(

occasionally, ads decide I'm a non-man of a certain age, without kids or a spouse, and start going HARD on the disney shit

and so it's always weird for me to see peers get REALLY into disney. Like it's just some "now we're 30" milestone.

One good answer is "orcs are monstrous and inhuman and attack any humans on sight, killing for fun"

but then... why are they a player race?

things I wanna ask LG characters:
1. "If your character came upon a camp of orcs near a town, with evidence that they'd been stealing goods from the town on a regular basis, what would you do?"
2. "What gives you the authority to do that? If that's might, why is your character okay with willfully murdering sentient beings for other people's stuff? Why is the law on your side?"

The basic premise of D&D for LG characters often eludes me.

therapist: "I thought you weren't coming!"
me: "I thought about cancelling because it's my birthday"
therapist: "you could have..."
me: "yeah but just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I should stop doing self care and this is part of that"
therapist: "yes... good"

@meena to be fair, I'm fairly actively not looking

@meena any reason?

@awinter it's still my birthday! thank you :)

@Trev @maloki and I have a spare bedroom

I've been staying up too late so I get weirdly sleepy and can do things without my anxiety being in the way

I should probably just get drugs, huh?

... weirdly, I get headaches when I try to go to bed earlier

@polychrome 92.5% of it is 100% silver

...

at least, on a molecular scale

I'm 30 today

I should probably sleep at some point

I think I love you
More than I'd admit
And I was not prepared to be seeing you like this
And I'm weighed down in this city
It's hard to live here, and I've been feeling restless
There's this battle raging in me
Don't want to love you anymore
But I can't help it

Pup-City
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNPqgTK7qjg

(not actually angsting atm)